1.YOU ARE TOO DRUNK
"You're too drunk to take the subway home... you should just stay over."
(As you innocently hide his wallet so he can't grab a cab either. No. I've never done this. I swear.)
2.AM AFRAID
"I feel really uncomfortable walking home by myself? Walk me home, please?"
3.I LOVE YOU
"I am deeply in love with you, and hoping we will reconcile in the afterglow of this sexual encounter."
4.I NO LONGER LOVE YOU
"I'm totally over you now, so it's absolutely fine if we have sex."
5.LETS CUDDLE
"Come over and we'll just cuddle. Adults can just cuddle and it won't go any further."
Yeah right.
